Dear Mr. Hewson,
I read today that you were giving some drunken advice to one of the members of Muse, and it tickled me pink. Of course, it tickled me pink mostly because I can only imagine how amusing a drunken Bono might be. Spinner Canada has posted this lovely little piece that includes a short interview with Muse’s drummer Dominic Howard, and I must say, he’s quite polite about the whole thing. I suppose you can’t really bite the hand that feeds though, can you? I say this because I’m sure you’re a hilarious prat when you’re drunk.
Oh, and the allergy to red wine thing… is that true? That’s such a “rock star” allergy. It sounds almost made up to me. What were you drinking when you took this poor man into a corner, anyway? Rest assured, of course, I think you’re amazing: drunken rock’n’roller or sober uber-activist. I just know you well enough to know that this poor boy was probably ready to smack you into the next week by the time the conversation ended. Funny how certain people (*ahem* you included) can get on your last nerve, and yet you can still think the world of them. I figure it’s why no one’s bothered to kidnap you and torture you with the terrible teenage poetry of emo kids while you’re tied to a merry-go-’round with that blasted yellow polyester rope they sell in convenience-cum-hardware stores in Nowhereville, USA.
…wow. Sorry about that. That really does sound terrible. Maybe nylon rope would be better.
Take care, my friend. Watch your back in playgrounds and hardware stores, and know your limits.